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Lost Ways- by "life's fool"

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Lost Ways

In this place I have created, somewhere between myth & reality, I lye
alone. The reachs of this mortal coil soon fading away, this mind I
hold I keep protected forever.
Once filled with love & the ability of passion uncommon to others,
now I hide. I hide from the pain, the pain & memory that I hold. Once
capable of a romance that could never be matched, I gave all I was to
another. When all I was failed, I began to suppress who I was so to become
someone else.
Inside I feel the urges of a now dead creature of emotion. Outside I
portray a beast of logic & reason with a faint whisper of family
concern. I shall make many journeys across the topaz sea to find something
within me that has been lost. I wish to have my mind re-opened. Open to
the emotion that I now believe is fuddle. I no longer wish my concerns
to be of logic, but of faith & feelings.
I wish no longer to be capable of cruelty or violence. I wish to
become again, the passive man filled with the emotional power I was created
with. I wish not to be alone in this deepest of minds. I wish to trust
another as I am able to be trusted. I wish to show another the
outskirts of this immortal mind. I wish not to hide my soul from all in
existence. I wish someone to know me as I do & I want to be able to see them.
The last cry of this desperate mortality, to wipe clean the tears of
this soul & vanquish the evil dwelling in this heart. The pain I feel
from the damn nation of the only worthy God, I can never understand the
crime I must have committed. The Justice of the perfection so unknown
to me for I know not what I did so wrong, but I realize it must be
grand.
Never able to apologize to thee for my crimes so great. The love I
must be receiving yet unable to see it for my emotions locked away to
the point of no reco